summer love(s)?

the ratio of running into an ex boyfriend whom u have been dating for several months in a place where u both are still at the same now, is relatively high. especially in Oxford.

my boyfriend broke up with me just about 3 weeks ago, and i havent been out of my apartment ever since apart from going to work.

i have a few little love affairs over these few years ever since i knew what dating another human being seriously was all about. and then i met this wonderfully lovely man who was willing to do anything for me. to be honest, a girl like me with not many external advantages and limited internal beauty, i thought i hit the jackpot and god finally heard my prayers after years of praying. he gave me the perfect candidate whom i think i can settle down with. and then here comes the satan sent me this gorgeous looking russian boy, who was able to give me anything from passionate nights to amazing jokes everyday. my year became twirlwind. who would have thought this would happened to my amazingly dull life?

these all happened since last summer. and continuingly stretched to this summer. Summer time. all the wonderful affairs, beautiful holidays happened then. what about mine? i wondered. pondered accross the passing cars through my apartment, i thought, what could have been better anymore? could us girls have anything more than boyfriends and getting married then settling down to talk about anymore? i began to search for this abitious girl that used to stay inside of me. she came to search for a life with a good academic qualification and to become the powerful woman in the job market, with amazing dancing skills of course. where was she now? have i lost myself in the beautifully glazed love affairs?

everybody gone through a painful break-up. i had a few. as when i was sitting and lying at home about crying for life, this girl inside of me came gave me a huge blow in my face. this isnt my first time and i have to admit i handle this time quite very gracefully. at least there isnt any tears drama and mid night callings to ex boyfriends.

there isnt a certain time length or a certain ways to get over a break up. she will take however long she needs to get over him who broke her heart. but no matter what, she cant go through without just that little faith in herself, and her family.

and instead of hating summer everytime it comes, i am looking forward to go to greece and enjoy the supposingly summer means. summer love. a girl in her early twenties should be experiencing lifes and learning lessons in all possible ways she could be learning. Greecewould be my first stop and first stone to heal this broken wound. and then i'll get my feet up, in my dancing heels of course.

i officially dont hate summer anymore. summers aremeant for summer love affairs. what about some greecian love im about to experience? another heart break another grown up woman in town. circle of life. no one to be blame.

blogesphere

i personally have been thinking about this particular issue lately. blogs. i clicked on my long forgotten blog account and discovered that the rest of the world (blog world) is happening the same thing. everyone, literally all my blog friends/friends who blog, hardly ever blog anymore. the abandoned posts and lack of updates. everyone seem different nowadays.

people around me arepeople at about the same age range as i do. we all are going through the similar phases in life at the moment. most of us. moving away. travelling away. going away. moving on. living life. actually having a life instead of sitting in front of the computer blogging about what hae they been feeling lately. and then for an instance i thought, everybody is growing up.

this gave an instant blow in my head. as people grow, they tend to not publish their feelings on the public wall for everybody to see it. in fact, whoever cares?

under the warm sun in oxfordshire, i overlooked cowley road, one of the busiest street in oxford, from my apartment. all these things in front of my eyes, recalling all that had happened ever since i came here. and then i read through several ofmy previous blog entries. surprisingly enough i read through a happy girl with no time to do anything to update the world about her lives. that was me then. too busy and too caught up with social activities, new people, new things to do, new parties, new works, new head goals.

and then i wondered, where has she been?