looking forward..

there are still hopes for me although it is winter time now. all trees are bald, sky darks at 3pm everyday. but theres still no doomsday for me! hahaha! my life is full of love and passion. i am just so lucky lah! you dont be jealous of me!

1. i have great and lovely family. didnt complain that i was annoying although i kept bothering them to keep an eye on my dog! haha

2. i have lovely friends, and one of them is Burton. why so?...

   

   i found this note in the breakfast box he gave me.

   the breakfast! he made me this because i was going to compete that morning! how lovely! are you jealous?!?!?! u have friends stay up whole night to make breakfast for u the next day? HAHAHHA!!!!!

3. i have great dancing life in oxford as well. (ps// i miss competing with Neil around. lol)oh with Bruce also lah! cause this is ballroom.
   he might not be hansem but partnering with Cedric is one of the smartest things i've done!and we won several times okay! in latin only. hahaha! FML 3rd place no trophy no nothing!

4. and i have love from home!

   my long awaited parcel had arrived yesterday. JEALOUS or not even the parcelman was lovely enough to carry this thing to my room for me! hahahaha!
   

   well thats the huge ass 12kg parcel and i! i was overjoyed okay!haha! u know whats that?

a lovely cusion pillow in deep maroon colour!

also a thermal flusk! oh thanks mommy i really need it for my midnight studies in the winter.

ah mommy even packed this lovely purple/blue/whatevercolour scaft in!!!! LOVES!!LOVES!!!LOVES!!!!

brother got me these! my favourite PC game and my favourite movie!

and a bunch of everything!!!!! can u see!!! can u see the chilli sauce? HAHAHAH! mommy can u send JonJon oveer next time? aiyooo~

from this moment on, i am the largest Cintan supplier in Oxford!i reckon. haha

and staying outside, ur room will stink because ur socks, underwear, boots, whatnots...etc..

so,

mommy sent me this! air freshener!
*haha sorry because i was rushing to work so i wore the lovely scarf and cam whore with this thing.

now thisthing is plugged into my wall. my room smells so good okayyy!!!!!

and then, i went to work. i LOVE TO WORK lah! omg!!!!
well, after work, after dinner, after everything, before bathing, i whore my cam! hahahah therefore i took so many pics! with my pathetic all black stupid working outfit but i still look cool in it because i am cool like that!

#1

#2

#3

#4

ok done. off to study! bye bye

FML I LOVE MY LIFE! wtf! hahahah! Christmas is coming...HoHoHo!

dream a little dream

not a little dream in fact a freaky one!

i think its because i had lack of sleeps lately due to the commercial law assignment, i had dreams!

i know! i know! dreamings are like eating rice. nothing to be frustated. i know right. but ITS SO VERY FREAKY OKAY WHEN U DREAM OF THE SAME PERSON OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR 3 NIGHT CONSECUTIVELY!

you tell me scary not? disgusting not?

but anyway, he's not dead. still very much alive and healthy. HAHAHAH! i think i kind of kill him in my dream. wtf. anyway, are you doing good?

lol. dream a little dream. why cant i just dream of myself winning Nottingham Games! $#@$^%$ greedy huh.

the end.

jitterbug

i am like a drunken jitterbug now wanting to Jive so badly.

another 2 more weeks and i'm done with this semester in Oxford. it's not as enjoyable as you tought it is ok? so currently, well, i had always been in financial trouble, therefore, I am engaging in a part time job every weekends lately.
a chinese restaurant as per see. working hard, wiping those plates really hard to earn those monies... iam in full hope of getting mommy and daddy something.

i am in the midst of completing the freaking psycho Commercial Law assignment which everyone claimed to be the POWERFUL JEFF YOUNG EVILNESS. anyways, i had came to few focus in my life currently.. what an inspiration huh.

of course, money! did you realise its in pounds? LOL. so long of studying those notes, i finally can recognize all of them! and now, i want more of them. wtf.

ok actually whats in my mind now besides those, are...

1) Christmas! i wonder how is it going to be like here in ang moh country. well, sorry if im in Malaysia it'd probably be another excuse for me to go clubbing. RIGHT? RIGHT? right not!

2) the competition dancefloor. haha. i am of no place to claim that i am a good dancer, but i miss competing already! that'd be in February 26th 2010. -.~"

3) and of no ambiguity, i want something studed/etched on this position. which, most likely to be withdrawn from my idea. i think i am quite satisfy with what i have now... well, Nancy said it right, you have a lifetime to decide! there you go.

4) i was recently inspired to join this pro bono thing which i think will help in my, erm, every espects. hopefully. hopefully..

i should be so lucky now already. and how come i am still worry of every little thing now? i am most unsatisfy with my financial planning lately which is very very messy. i am more worry with my recent progress of Commercial Law assignment. MASSIVE worry on my understanding of EU Law. MASSIVE worry on my legs action in Cha Cha cause Neil said it wasn't fast enough. how sad for a lucky girl to be thrown under such worries? therefore, i decided to call it off now because once again, i felt the uselessness here typing all these. *^$!@*#%$!#!@

the end.

i am very random

yes. i am very random, therefore this will be a random post about just anything random. anything that pops up in my mind.

well i decided to write this post because i have 20 minutes spare time of dont know what to do because i am waiting for my pastry to be cooked, in the oven. hahahha. im so hungry lah.

time really past so quickly, this is the first time i feel like time past really fast, and i cant even do anything about. well obviously, nobody can. the thing is its so fast where it feels like its just a flash! i've been here for 3 months already and yet i felt like i'm here since..yesterday. well ok thats very dramatic but thats how i want to deliver. you get what i want to say right?

i gained weight. yes! i havent weight myself yet but i know i gained weight! but u know sometimes, when i am hungry i feel so skinny, then i just cant stop eating. i am poor because i keep eating i supposed.

owh i think my face is getting LARGER THAN LIFE. because my dance partner told me that he saw my "BIG FAT FACE" smilling to the camera when we were dancing. HEY AT LEAST I GOT US INTO 2nd PLACE OKAY! wtf! Singaporean!
see! actually quite big fat lah my face! eh i smiled to the camera! hahahhha!!! its likenatural instinct okay! and WTF he is so disgusting and his hands are like superman! $@$@#!% and my eye makeup are like fucks.

oh and, i think the team photographer hates me. because he never took our picture FROM MY FRONT SIDE. SERIOUSLY. let me show you..
this was when we did latin. from my BACK! and Cedric always did that face! geli!

this was when we did ballroom. cannot remember Waltz ot Quickstep. SEE!!!! my BACK again!!!!! wtf right? and look at Cedric's face? HAHAHHA! cannot tahan lah he very geli! Singaporean. and he complaint that i very bias towards Singaporean.

u know what he said about Malaysia whenever we quarrelled? i really want to throw my heels towards him. he asked me go back to my 'developing country' ! WTF!!!!!! CHEEBYE! JIAK SAI lah u Singaporean!

sigh! but i admire my own legs in the pictures above. hahahha vainity rules.

ok u know what? i'm going to blog something very very constructive in the NEXT post because now my pastry is cooked or else im gonna have to burn the kitchen! ok then

the end.

i am in the midst of doing my criminal evidence coursework and i am stucked. really never expected myself to be in this position which is so subtle to give up.

i am extremely discourage by my current mood as mood swings really does happen to me lately. having done 2 competitions lately and being exhausted, i am most likely to collapse. anyway for the first time i am stucked half way typing out my aasignment. what a shame, i can't even produce one decent paragraph. this is the outcome of failure in planning earlier. I can't afford to fail lah! wtf!

as i was feeling extremely discouraged and abandoned, as i was taking a nap, i received a sms from daddy asking hows my life! such a bright encouragement to my mood. its 1 degree celcious now WTF is sooooo SOOOO SOOOO cold my fingers are freezing now. feel like i am the saddest person in the world because im so cold. wtf!

i ate one packet of nissin noodle (thank you Yung Yung Jai) and a whole personal peperoni pizza! FML im going to be SO fat because both my limited edition Levis jeans doesnt fit me anymore! mommy asked me stop eating or else ended up changing the whole wardrobe, AHAHAHHAHA its a good thing!

i am typing this post because i am really stucked halfway doing Criminal Evidence so please bare with my randomness. i feel like blinging up my camera, pimping my BB skin, eating apple crumble, drinking hot chocolate, eating my home-made burgers, nasi lemak, pan mee, fried chicken, curry, Subway sandwiches, hot chicken soup..etc.

and i want to continue my Criminal Evidence now. WTF!!! i want to swear out loud but cannot because Bee Hui is just next door WTF. my life is so sad! hahahahhaha omg im so pessimist!

i should take out my planner and Blackberry, because if you fail to plan, you plan to fail..

pathetic

i came across stories and gossips among my classmates here in OBU. its between this queen and this prince. its the i-like-you ended up i-hate-you thing. sounds rediculous to most of us. to be honest, its kinda sad when i heard that. why so, simply because this whole entire thing reminds me of this sad incident just few months back right before i come to Oxford..

its so sad having yourself falling for someone who turns out to hate you the most. its really funny when this someone hated you so much where he won't even want to look at you, or to not appear in any occassion where you are at. on top of the wound, maybe he say something really mean like, "blah blahh blahhh is so fucking ulgy" or "so stupid" aiyah things thats going to hurt like that. so i just concluded it into one word ya, PATHETIC.

and so, it has past for about, so many months, i think she lost count. i think he lost count too. i just sat down in front of my computer thinking, why 2 person who used to be quite close, ended up hating each other and saying mean things towards each other. none of them wants to lose. none of them wants to admit the fault. why cant one just simply apologize, and another one just forgive? *oh well, maybe one has already apologize but why doesn't the other one forgive?*

remember all the phone calls and laughters. omg it can really made people laugh even if its so long ago. it had happened. like a fleeting film. well at least she once knew him. one of a kind.

no one wants to lose. both hated each other. both talking crap about each other. both knew that it used to be something quite wonderful. but both know, they will never talked to each other anymore. funniest thing? she/he might be still thinking of he/she.

what a beautiful life. without regrets, life is not as beautiful.

forgive and forget. can you even do it?

thanks giving

i heard it was thanks giving yesterday. i never had celebrated thanks giving and never knew what it was. until i heard and reading through blog posts, it is a festive which has nothing to do with christianity.

since its the thanks giving weather, this post is specially dedicated to people i love so much and i wish to thank them. is that what thanks giving means? haha. anyway, to the people i love most,
thats them. awww right? haha. well my family actually. i love them equally much. many many loves where i never knew i had until they threw me here alone and i am now living without them. sigh* humans are such suckers. i mean generally. not you, you, you or you. but generally. i bet you ever heard of "people never appreciated until you lost it". i opposed to that because i havent lost anything and i am appreciating all of them. every single minute i am breathing, i am thankful.

i love my mom the most because she is everything beyond the best mom. gahh i miss her like mad, i love her like mad but too bad i am a conservative asian which only reach the ability to tell her i love her through words and blog posts...

i love my dad because he is simply my dad...

i love my brothers because they are simply the best brothers in the world. eventhough they were like hooligans at times. hahaha

and ee ee. it means aunty in mandarin..

she is the most unique aunty in the world lah! u will never believed how she treated me! she is the best i tell you! she can cook for me whenever i said i am hungry. she will bake for me when i randomly say i want to bake because i want to bake. we talked like we were friends and she does everything so lovely way beyond an aunt will do to you.. how can i not love her?

ee ee i love you also lah! i will never forget you okay! haha

i am most thankful and i reckon thanks giving is the best day to show how much i feel thankful of. i reckon, there is no one as blissful as i am.

***********************************

so, thanks giving is over, today is another day for me. which is a day closer to competition, a day closer to Criminal Evidence coursework due date -.-"

i got a phone call few days ago from this dude who sounded really friendly who asked me to go for an interview. for a cantonese recorded speaker. hahaha! i think faced applied for it and i got the chance to be interiewed..
first time i step foot in a very proper and big recording studio and after severals question and answer sessions he made me sat in a little room with mic and scripts, and he recorded me reading those very complicated chinese characters into cantonese... it was my first time...i stumbled @.@"

it was brief. 20 minutes perhaps? just a short test he just want to know how my voice goes and how does it sound. he said he wants native accent which hong kong-er would approved of. haha i hope years and years of TVB indulgence would help in this one! *crossed fingers*

having walking out alot, lately, i find weather is getting colder...i checked, its only 7 degrees out there. celcius.
as i walked towards Jeannie's house in Headington, i felt the chill. it was so cold and the sun is still shining so bright. SO DECEIVING! anyways, the trees are all bald.

compare to how it was when we first came, i finally came to realise, winter has arrived...wtf. no winter sonata also! winter not nice lah!
and thats me today. hence that puffy eye bags because i slept at 3am last night thanks to TVB! haha

and thats Jeannie today. she made me pastry for lunch and we walked to Headington for beehoon. and we bumped into the super hot matured-looking guy which i really crazy after, whom i actually met days ago in the bus stop realising that he stays in Headington also, on the road. omg! this is fate! wtf! hahahha!!! eh he looks like the very young version of Kent's father. how sick i am! hahahah!!!

anyway, i am off to assignments now because i am very worried about it now. bye bye.

the end.

i am discouraged

all hail Oxford Dancesport Team. thats our whole team. see how much people Bruce sent out this year. =.=" so kiasu. well i looking forward to the coming comp.

I'm going to say this once more. I am discouraged.

for the very reason i am here (well eventhough its just the 3rd month here), i feel all discouraged today. Budgetting is definitely a hard thing but i reckon i did pretty well in that where I hardly spend and I rarely shop for uneccessary purchases.

I have to admit the fact that i spend quite an amount of money but, the fact is, i spend alot of them on foods! no seriously! foods are the most expensive thing! i eat and eat and i gained weight to the extent where my favourite limited edition Levis jeans couldnt fit me anymore! as in NOT ANYMORE! i couldnt even button it up! no matter how i suck my tummy in! i am most happy actually, but looking at those jeans that i have to abandone them from now on, i am quite sad.

oh well, thats not the discouraging part i was going to say. apart from the weather here, its getting colder every single day and i could barely walk out without shivering. i am so cold like that! money is definitely one of the issues that bothers me. I would say i am not a spender when it comes to circumstances like where i have to manage a huge sum of money for a very long time. i did i have to say. and i've definitely got enough Kaching$ to use for the rest of the month.

now enough of the money issue. to be honest, i was most upset when i received the message questioning my attitude in spending. i have to say, if i were to spend money, i am extravagant in that. but if i were to plan and save, I AM WAYYYY BEYOND EXTRAVANGANT. all back to what i was about to point, i am upset now and tomorow, and the day after tomorrow and perhaps daysss daysss after tomorrow. (well unless i met someone hot and he blew me a hot kiss. WTF!)

with due dates approaching me, mid night studies, competition trainings (WITH RESONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT ON), and well occasionally movies and series...i am quite stressed actually. oh no! not stressed. i am worried. for whatever reasons you can think of. GAHH! i dont know what am i typing now...

so, i'm going to another competition this Saturday. Nottingham Ballroom Dancing Championships. Bruce (Ballroom coach) and Neil (latin coach) definitely gave me some pressure for i dont know why.and for a very kiasu heart deep down under, I definitely hope that i can do better than what i did last week...and according to Claire..one of my classmates in the dance class... Neil looked..scary when Cedric and I was on the dance floor..
the 2nd from the left..thats Neil. my latin coach. he definitely looked intensed didnt he? anyway he is cool and great, but he pressured me!

i dont know why of all people he has to just come tell me he want me to get into finals lor!!!! damn pressured okay! mommy daddy said my spending attitude got problem now he want to push me. OMG i want to cry! cannot also lah too cold the tears will freeze! but oh well, being positive is what i have learnt so far. dancing wise i am still very much alive.

so, i am sad and pathetic because my parents practically accused me on unreasonable spending on money and time. there's nothing to explain this is not like im being dump or what. i just want to type it all out so i guess i am feeling better now.

i am going to get my Criminal Evidence done now and finish the series i watched haflway earlier.

the end.

fuck. i swore because i am pissed.